The Field Trip
by Darknesse Sidhe
Summary: Just your average story about an insane girl who steals a whole bunch of stuff from the gods.
1. Bad Elevator Music

**I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

**Oh yes, and one more thing – I won't tolerate plagiarism or infringing. Hope you enjoy the story as it should be!**

_To state it in a way that makes it sounds cliché, here begins the story of seventh grader Alysa Stereau, and how she epically stole the keys from that security dude at the Empire State Building while on a field trip there._

The Field Trip:

Chapter One: Terrible Elevator Music

It was your average September day in New York – vendors were screaming advertisements along the streets, people were bustling about, the subways were crowded, and strange but not unusual things were happening everywhere and no one really cared except for the half-bloods, but some of them didn't really care either, because this was New York after all, and apparently strange things happening on a daily basis [1.].

12-year-old Alysa Stereau was a seventh-grader attending a school whose name she did not remember because she blocked unimportant stuff like that out from her mind. She was skinny, with long, straight brown hair, a green T-shirt, jeans, and white sneakers. Her humongous green eyes generally reminded people of eyes that you might see in an anime movie, and they might've been innocently adorable if not for the slightly crazed look in her eyes. Although not unpretty, her … unusual … personality and … interesting … habits had ensured that no one had yet to make a move on her in her so-far short life. This was probably a good thing, at least for the mental, emotion, and physical health of those who might fall for her – because Alysa would most likely drive them crazy herself or her overprotective father, who was very high up on the ladder in NYC, would fry them.

On this day, Alysa was on a field trip with her classmates at the Empire State Building, and she was wondering why they were there in the first place, as they lived in New York and could drop by at any time. Bored, she sighed, her green eyes flitting about at her peers. Oh those poor doomed children.

As they passed, Alysa saw behind one of the welcome desks a security guard watching everything – but with a bored expression on his face. Alysa paused, feeling a little bad for him, but also wondering if she could have some fun here ….

"Excuse me," she said, stopping at the desk. The security guard looked up. She smiled at him widely, her eyes a bit manic.

The security guard looked down on her, patiently waiting for her to say what she wanted.

She didn't.

"What is it?" he said finally, a little exasperated but also a little amused.

"My name is Alysa! How are you?"

This … was new. He saw a few of the staff in the busy room glance at him curiously. One pretty secretary inclined her head at Alysa, mouthing, _Demigod?_

The security guard shrugged slightly. Alysa stared at him, but guessed he was just having a shoulder spasm. After all, it happened to her all the time.

(Some of the staff working at the Empire State Building knew of the gods and that the security guard had the keys for Mount Olympus. Well, _someone_ had to know."

"Do you like ice cream?" continued Alysa. "I love ice cream, but only when it's cold. When it's warm it's like sour, bitter, disgusting soup. I hate it when it's warm. I like nachos, but only with fried pepper. Muffins are – "

"Are you half-blood?"

Alysa blinked and then narrowed her eyes dangerously at him. "Excuse me? Did you just say that I have only half the amount of blood inside of me that I need? Because that is just rude, and I will not tolerate that behaviour!" She banged her fist on the counter, and then shrieked, clutching her hand. "OW, now look at what you might me do!" She shook her injured fist warningly at him. "This is your fault, Fred. You're bad!"

Obviously, if this girl was a demigod, she was one of the more unstable ones.

"Are you a half-blood?" repeated the security guard, slowly as if talking to a particularly stupid person.

"I'm pretty sure I have all of the blood I required in order for my brain to function and for my soul to survive in me, but if you want I'll check to make sure!" Alysa said happily. Then she frowned and started searching herself. "Don't worry, I probably have a knife somewhere …."

The security guard sighed and face-palmed. "Don't stab yourself, that's not what I meant."

Alysa exploded. "WHAT? How dare you make me almost stab myself, and thus killing myself, and I would've had you not stopped me, but I never would've had to been stopped had you not made me try to kill myself in the first place! This must be a federal offence, driving an innocent little girl to suicide. I'm too old to die! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS IN SMOKE!" she screeched.

For a moment, the guard was totally lost. Then he decided to ignore her rants and focus on his job.

"A half-blood is a half-human, half-god," he explained. "Obviously you are one, and you're probably after the key to Olympus!"

Blink. "Key?" Tilt. "Wait, what?" Pause. "Half-god?" Then: "Hold on, you mean the ugly one right there?" She pointed at a key in hand. "I thought that was just for some security thing, like locking doors or something." She sighed and shook her head sadly. Adults – they did stupid stuff like that all the time.

But although she was showing tragedy on her face, her mind was spinning. Her parents had taught her about Greek Mythology, and she knew Olympus was the home of the Greek gods … there probably wasn't really Greek gods, but hey, keep an open mind, right? And even if this wasn't really the Greek gods, then it was probably some big project, something important, at least judging on the solemn look on the security guard's face. Important enough for her to significantly cause some havoc …?

"Alysa Stereau, you come here this instant!"

The sound of her crabby teacher's voice jolted her back into the reality of the boredom nightmare she was trapped in. Reluctantly, she turned and saw her teacher, Miss Rim, way down the room, glaring venomously at her while the students behind her snickered behind their hands.

"Goodbye, we'll finish this next time!" Alysa told the security guard, and then turned and walked back towards her class.

Her feet moved towards them almost against her will, but agonizingly slowly.

"Faster!" screamed Miss Rim, waving her bony finger in the air. Alysa remembered at the beginning of the semester, Miss Rim had been an irritating, strict, angry teacher everyone hated, but at least she'd been very pretty. Then she had met the new Stereau girl. Now her hair was grey and frizzy, and she reminded everyone of a skinny vulture. Alysa obliviously and absentmindedly wondered why this was as she ran forward so fast she crashed into Miss Rim, sending her toppling.

To her disappointment, Miss Rim didn't fall, but at least she got angrier.

"When we get back, another week of detention!" she fumed. "How many times do I have to tell you to stick with us and not wander off? I was foolish to think you could handle this – you'll probably get us all blown up before the day even ends!"

"You are a fool," agreed Alysa calmly.

"_Two_ weeks of detention!" screeched the red-faced teacher, turning and stalking about angrily.

Alysa's eyes narrowed. "What did I do?" she called after her. "All I did was agree with you!"

Miss Rim didn't even reply.

"I don't get why we have to go on this stupid field trip anyways," said Alysa to herself as she reluctantly joined her classmates. "My dad freaking _lives_ here, he takes me here at least once every month, and I don't get what's so special about going here on a field trip."

"Oh yeah," snickered a boy named Roger as he passed her, an unpleasant look on his face. "The dad who hates you so much he doesn't even live with you and your mom?"

Alysa looked up and smiled in icy amusement, her arms folded across her chest casually. "Roger, when you grow up, if you have kids, I'm going to wait until they're our age, and then I'm going to make sure they don't have a dad."

"You can try."

So Alysa decided that she would, adding it to her mental agenda for when they were all adults.

Her mind went back to the security guard's key ….

"MISS RIM!" she screamed suddenly, running to the front. Miss Rim stopped and stared at her in surprise. It was usually her screaming Alysa's name, not the other way around. "MISS RIM, I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM _NOW_!"

Miss Rim growled. "No, Alysa! I don't want to be sued again for your behaviour."

"I JUST NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! AND IF YOU DON'T LET ME, I'LL SUE YOU FOR CHILD ABUSE! IT'S AN EMERGENCYYYYYY….."

"STOP SCREAMING! And I don't want to have to wait for you!"

"YOU PEOPLE CAN GO AHEAD, I KNOW THIS PLACE WELL, I'LL CATCH UP!" she promised.

"I said, STOP SCREAMING!"

"BUT MISS RIM – "

"Stop screaming, I'm thinking about it!"

Alysa shut up for once.

On one hand Miss Rim knew it was wrong to let a student go without waiting, especially _this_ one, with her ability to cause disaster wherever or whenever it might be, and with her father who would readily sue them if he had found out they'd just abandoned her. On the other hand, Miss Rim really wanted to get rid of Alysa, even for a little while ….

She participated in a brief internal struggle that contorted her face.

Alysa looked impatient.

"Fine," said Miss Rim at last, selfishness winning out. But really, who could blame her?

"VICTORY FOR ME!" screamed Alysa. She turned and ran away quickly, in the general direction of the bathroom there [2.].

Miss Rim scowled passionately and walked away quickly, the students following after a pause.

Alysa had already reached the bathroom door. When she saw that her class was out of sight, she turned and casually walked in the direction of the security guard, who had come out from behind his desk and was talking to the pretty secretary. She could see a slight key-shaped bulge in his pocket, and as the key was no longer in his hand ….

A few seconds later, Alysa accidently bumped into the security guard, who recognized her.

"Oops, sorry!" said Alysa as he steadied her. "I'm looking for the bathrooms."

"They're over there," said the guard, pointing. Alysa turned and blinked as if surprised.

"Oh, thank you!"

She felt his eyes on the back of her neck as she walked so she actually went to into the ladies' washroom, which was empty. She took the key she's stolen when she'd crashed into the guard out and examined it closely, recognizing it as an elevator key.

She waited for another moment, and then turned and left the washroom. The guard, having seen her gone to the washroom, was not suspicious anymore, and had resumed his chat with the pretty secretary. They seemed to be … _flirting_. At least, the security man was. Alysa shuddered and went over to the elevator, trying not to vomit. She figured she didn't have very long before the guard figure he'd been duped.

She went into the empty elevator, slid the key into a little slot within, and next thing she knew the doors were closing and she was going up … up … up to … the 600th floor?

Eh?

Then she had to stop wondering, because the elevator music kicked in, and she froze in absolute terror as Justin Bieber's voice [3.] started blasting through the mini speakers on the ceiling.

_Oh baby, baby, baby, oh …_

_Like baby, baby, baby, oh …_

_Like baby, baby, baby, oh …_

OH GOD NO.

Screaming, she curled up into a fetal position, clamped her hands futilely over her ears, and rocked back and forth in agony for the rest of the ride.

When the music stopped and the doors finally opened, she grabbed the key and staggered out onto a bridge that hung in the air, gulping down big breaths of air as the elevator went back down and disappeared, leaving a little slot hanging. After a moment, she had calmed down a little and stared at the ground, lamenting over the horrors of bad elevator music.

Then rage swept over her like a tsunami.

Whoever did this to her would PAY.

**[1.] I'm not trying to be stereotypical or anything, I'm just saying this because that's what it's like when Percy describes the city.**

**[2.] Um, I've never actually been to the Empire State Building, so don't get mad if there isn't actually a bathroom in the lobby ….**

**[3.] No offense to those who like his music.**

**This chapter came out waaaay longer than I intended, but oh well.**

**Reviews are appreciated.**


	2. Thievery on Olympus

**I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

_To state it in a way that makes it sound cliché, here continues the story of Alysa, and how she went to Olympus and her adventures on stealing a whole bunch of stuff, and then running for her life like a maniac._

The Field Trip:

Chapter Two: Thievery on Olympus

Alysa soon found herself within a very curious hallway. It was _very_ long and very pretty, with sand-white walls lined with gold bordering, and pretty tapestries, paintings, and statues hanging from the walls. There were also doors, one after another – although with much space in between, so Alysa guessed that the rooms behind the doors must be large. (Most) of the doors were gold, and had black lettering on them. On each doorway, the black letters spelt out a name.

She came up to one that read, _Demeter_, and it had little potted plants growing beside it, and it had designs of bright yellow wheat carved into it, and it was slightly ajar, and it looked so tempting …

After glancing around to make sure no one was watching, Alysa slipped inside as quiet as a shadow, her eyes widening as she took in the quarters.

The quarters belonging to the person called Demeter had wheat-gold walls with dark, forest-green bordering. The furniture was all coloured various shades of brown, and all appeared to be made out of wood – a bad thing if the room was set on fire, Alysa thought. The floor was carpeted with rugs that looked like they'd been made form animal skin, and Alysa immediately stepped off of them. She hated stepping on rugs like that – it made her feel, in some weird way, like she was stepping on an animal itself.

There were also the pictures.

There were pictures _everywhere_ – on the tables, on the walls, over the bed that could be seen in the other room, by the windowsill: everywhere. Mostly they were of a smiling, beautiful, warm-looking woman with olive skin, chocolate-brown eyes, and long black hair. Sometimes the woman was alone; sometimes with an older-looking woman who also had dark hair and dark eyes. From the tags, Alysa figured out that the younger woman was named Persephone, and the older was Demeter.

There were also several pictures of a few other people, and some shots of a man with long, oily-looking black hair and a sneer that reminded Alysa of Severus Snape from Harry Potter. The pictures of the man usually had darts imbedded into them, and were scribbled over in black marker, disfiguring the man's face or just writing less-than-flattering things about him around him.

One of the closets was open a crack and something about it made Alysa frown. Following her instincts, she walked over to it and threw it open. Her eyes widened when she saw what was inside.

Cereal boxes, of varying shapes, kinds, and sizes, stacked row upon row after one another, on shelf upon shelf within the closet, several boxes open. Little fragrant rose petals were scattered about them.

This woman loved cereal.

But really, with so many boxes, it's not like she would notice if one went missing, right?

Alysa grabbed a box of Fruit Loops for later in case she went hungry, and stuffed it in the waterproof backpack she'd brought. Hey, you never know when you might need a trusty box of cereal!

Then she left to explore the rest of the doors. Some turned out to be locked, and she avoided the ones with noise coming from behind them like the plague, but a few of them were open, empty, unlocked, or all three, and she managed to scavenger two more _interesting_-looking things from them.

Those interesting things consisted of a long, pretty, elaborate silver-and-gold shiny metal band that was warm to the touch, which she wrapped around her waist, and a huge, rather frightening golden shield with a snake-haired head infused into it, which gave off a pulsating aura of fear, destruction, and slight taste of metal in the mouth. (?)

(Naturally, she loved the shield at first glance.)

Happily armed with a belt, a shield, a backpack, and cereal, Alysa walked off in search of more rooms to explore.

She soon came across a huge one where twelve differently assorted gigantic thrones were kept along the walls and a fireplace burned cheerily in the center. Other than herself, the entire room was empty as she walked towards the biggest throne, her eyes widening as she saw what was at the foot of it.

A long bronze metal rod sizzling with energy lay at the foot of the throne, crackling slightly in a way that drew her immediately. She automatically picked it up and stuffed it into her backpack pocket, so she could draw it easily. It looked like a buzz baton or something, and she'd always wanted one of those.

There were several maps on the opposite walls, and out of curiosity she walked over to them. She found one for the place she was in – apparently _this_ was Olympus – just as another caught her eye. Alysa turned towards it.

It was a map for somewhere called … _Poseidon's Palace Under the Sea_. It sounded like something from a Disney movie, but the map of the palace shows many corridors, spaces, and interesting-looking rooms with interesting names. And all she had to do to get there was … Alysa looked back at the map of Olympus and then at a sheet of instructions crudely taped to the wall. All she had to do to get there was go back downstairs, and find another room that led to a little underground dock she hadn't known was there. Then she would take a boat out into the middle and go diving. (Apparently the palace was under the sea.)

Alysa looked around but couldn't see any scuba gear. She shrugged. Oh well, she thought. _I guess when I get down there I'll just have to improvise_!

Happily she skipped back from where she came from, across the bridge going back to the proper Empire State Building, and into the elevator, where she immediately clamped her hands violently over her ears as she started to go down.

It didn't work – the accursed music still filtered into her ears, making them want to bleed!

Angrily, she took the metal rod from her backpack and waved it wildly in the general direction of the speakers, gasping slightly with delight and surprise when bolts of energy shot out form the rod and promptly fried.

For the rest of the way down, she wondered absentmindedly about this place called Poseidon's Palace Under the Sea as the shield's aura throbbed against her leg. Maybe there, stealing from the palace would actually be a challenge, instead of just taking things and leaving. Honestly ….

**END OF CHAPTER TWO!**

**Chapter three's not going to be following Alysa, it'll be featuring Demeter, Athena, Aphrodite, and Zeus figuring out that they were stolen from.**

**Review, it makes me happy, and the happier I am, the faster I update! ^_^**


	3. The Gods Figure it Out

**I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Nor do I own Fox-Face.**

**One person was wondering why the heck Nico was in this. Just in case anyone else was wondering, Nico's in this because of a short and hopefully amusing series of events involving a bunch of his stuff getting stolen and he and Alysa screaming their faces off at each other. ^_^**

**Sorry if you thought this was some kind of romance story, but this isn't another NicoxOC. (Pause) But you have to admit, the idea is a little original … Nico getting paired up with an insane girl ….**

**Not happening here, though.**

**So here I give you the third chapter, and I hope you enjoy it!**

The Field Trip

Chapter Three: The Gods Figure it Out

Athena was the first to realize something had been stolen.

Actually, she realized that something was off the moment Alysa stepped into her room (the door had been open from the last time Hermes had snuck through trying to see if there was anything worth stealing other than the Aegis which he'd get flayed for), because Athena, for all her wisdom and caution – actually, thanks to her wisdom and not to mention _caution_ – was a very paranoid person, and had had Hecate cast a bunch of spells over her room so she'd know whenever someone stepped into it.

(She'd known it when Hermes had gone in, and when she'd checked it out, it turned out Hermes hadn't stolen anything, so he luckily got away with only a very hard slap on the cheek and a considerable increase of fear of Athena … and her spear.)

But she was in the middle of an argument with Poseidon – well, it couldn't really be counted as an argument anymore, because both immortals had forgotten what they'd been arguing about in the first place and were now just hurling insults at each other.

But the point _is_, they were arguing, and Athena couldn't exactly just say, "Hey Poseidon, although I would love to fling more comments about your revolting breath right into your face, someone's in my room on Olympus and I have to go … take care … of them."

You did not say things like that to your rival.

So instead, Athena resolved to hurry up and finish this quickly, and then go as fast as she could to Olympus.

"FISH FACE!" she screamed, followed by another torrent of rather unpleasant words.

But to her dismay, the _argument_ turned out to take longer than she'd expected, and by the time she'd wrapped it up, Alysa was already on the elevator going down.

Athena sped off towards Olympus practically at the speed of light, although she knew she was already too late.

A fact that was proven correct when she arrived at her room and found no one there, but the Aegis – which she was supposed to protect – gone.

This did nothing to help improve her already bad mood.

Athena contemplated going after the thief right then, right there, but knew that the thief might've stolen some other things, and she had to alert the Olympian Council immediately.

So, as fast as she could, she found Zeus (who was tanning himself on a terrace), who gathered up all the Olympians plus Hestia and minus Poseidon who was under the sea (all whom were inconveniently scattered all about Olympus and Middle Earth), and after a brief search, the following happened:

Exhibit A: Featuring Demeter

"SOMEONE STOLE ONE OF MY CEREAL BOXES!" screeched Demeter, her face red in her rage.

The Olympians stared.

"I have," she fumed, "a closet _full_ of precious cereal that I collect in case I ever need some. Well, it's good to be prepared and you can never have enough cereal," she added a tad defensively at the expressions on the other gods' faces.

"Why am I not surprised?" muttered Apollo.

"Demeter," said Hermes slowly, "how would you even tell if one of them had been stolen, if you have so many?"

"In that closet, I have exactly 108 boxes of cereal," said Demeter, glaring as she folded her arms over her chest. "I count them three times a day – when I wake up everyday at exactly 8:00 in the morning, at 12:00 at noon, and 9:30 when I go to bed."

"Who goes to bed _that_ early?" mumbled Dionysus to Apollo.

"Who wakes _up_ that early?" Apollo replied.

Artemis turned around and glared at them with the full force of her moon-like yellow eyes.

"Just because you two are a bunch of morons who can't wake up after 11:00, and can't go to bed after 3:00 in the morning, doesn't mean that us responsible girls have to be," she hissed sternly. "Now stop talking!"

The other gods ignored the three siblings. (Yep, Dionysus is the half-brother of the Archer twins.)

"Today when I woke up," continued Demeter, "I ate half a box of cereal, but it's not like I finished it, so I kept the box, retaining the 108 boxes of cereal in my closet. Right now it's only 10:45. I wasn't supposed to count again until noon, but when Athena said she'd been stolen from, I rushed over to the closet right away, and can you _believe_ it, there's only _107_ boxes in there!" screamed the goddess in a panic. "SOMEONE STOLE ONE OF MY FRUIT LOOPS CEREAL BOXES!"

More staring.

"Demeter," said Hestia soothingly. "Are you sure you didn't just miscount or anything? 108 cereal boxes is a lot."

"I counted twice," replied Demeter flatly.

"We have now come to the conclusion that Demeter's cereal has been stolen. Continue the search!" Zeus said, wanting to get this over with so he could return to his tanning.

Exhibit B: Featuring Aphrodite

Not long later, a piercing scream rang throughout all of Olympus, soon bringing every Olympian (plus Hestia) to the private chambers of Aphrodite.

"My precious girdle has been stolen!" she wailed. "I can't find it _anywhere_!"

"You mean, the girdle I made for you when we first got married?" said Hesphaestus, tactfully ignoring the distasteful look on Aphrodite's face as she remembered the marriage. "The magic one that makes you ten times more irresistible than usual?"

"Yes," said Aphrodite, looking worried as she fled, to Hephaestus's annoyance, to Ares's muscular arms for solace. She sobbed on the war god's shoulder, burying her face in her hands. "This is horrible! That girdle has the power to make even anything ugly look beautiful! What I am going to do without it?"

Exhibit C: Featuring Zeus

It was thought for a long time that no one could match Aphrodite's screams in the Art of Making Loud Sounds, but that day, Zeus proved everyone wrong.

Because five minutes later, a terrifying roar rocketed through the home of the gods, feral and angry enough to make Apollo and Artemis instinctively draw their arrows.

Hestia gasped, her warm fire eyes widening as she lifted her eight-year-old hands to her eight-year-old mouth. "MY LITTLE BABY BROTHER HAS TURNED INTO A FEROCIOUS MAN-EATING BEAST! THIS IS _HORRIBLE_!" she wailed in total despair. "HOW WILL I POSSIBLY EVER KEEP THE PEACE _NOOOOW_?"

Then Zeus walked in, and although he looked distinctively angry, he did not appear to be a lion or a dragon or anything like that. And by the way, the idea that lions eat humans is a horrible tabloid lie made up by the same reporter that got Marie Antoinette dead, so don't you believe it!

"No need to worry about the peace. I am not," seethed the King of the Gods, "a ferocious man-eating beast."

"Or is he?" whispered Hermes to Athena, who glared at him.

Hestia turned red. "I – er – um – "

Zeus ignored his eldest eight-year-old sister.

"FOR THE SECOND TIME IN FOUR YEARS, MY MASTER BOLT HAS BEEN STOLEN!" he boomed when all the Olympians had gathered.

"Calm down, dear," huffed Hera, just to spite her husband. She was ignored.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a very bad thing," said Hermes solemnly to his colleagues.

"Stolen!" spat Demeter. "The Aegis and the Master Bolt and my beloved, precious cereal – maybe whoever did this is trying to take over Olympus!"

"What about my girdle?" Aphrodite seethed quietly.

Hermes blinked at Demeter. "Your cereal … must have great powers," he said in a strained voice, as if trying not to laugh.

Demeter glared at him, and Artemis elbowed him. The goddess of the moon had been aiming to elbow him in the ribs, but since she was physically twelve, he was a lot taller than her, and she ended up elbowing him in the gut instead.

"Ow."

"Whoever this thief is, he must DIE!" screamed Demeter.

"How do you know it's a guy?" said Apollo, offended. "I'm going to have to ask you this, since I belong to the race of guys and I must defend my race!"

"It's obvious, is it not?" smirked Artemis. "Only a guy would be that stupid, stealing from the gods."

"Little sister shouldn't go around insulting their older brothers," replied Apollo with a haughty sniff.

Artemis swore violently. "By the Styx, how many times do I have to tell you this, not only are we TWINS, but I was born FIRST!"

"We're doomed," declared Dionysus neutrally. "I'm hungry. Can I go now?"

"Funny," said Ares, "because now that you mention it, I'm pretty hungry too …."

Athena's eye twitched. Soon her face decided that twitching was the new fad and she looked like she was having a face seizure.

"Listen," she snapped, her voice ringing clearly across the hall. The other gods fell silent. "I know how to track the thief."

"How?" prompted Zeus impatiently.

Athena smiled like a fox (think, Fox-Face from the Hunger Games), her grey eyes glittering with something that was almost malign. "I had Hephaestus place a tracker on the Aegis, and connect it with my iPod. With it, we should be able to track down the thief and … _deal_ with him."

"Him? Now that's just sexist," said Apollo, but not loudly enough for Athena to hear.

**YEAH!**

**Sorry, had to do that.**

**So anyways, I didn't mind that chapter, and my only regret was not having Apollo recite a few horrible haikus. But don't worry, the ear-murdering poems are coming!**

**Guess what Alysa is! I mean, is she a demigod, or is she a clear-sighted mortal, or just strange? (Virtual) cookies to whoever gets it right! Answer will be posted at the end of two more chapters, Chapter Five.**

**Review and Grover will get enchiladas.**


	4. Roger and the Master Bolt

**I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

The Field Trip:

Chapter Four: Roger's Experience with the Master Bolt

_In which Alysa is yelled at, and in which she zaps a certain annoying male who irritated her earlier (see Chapter One)._

_Ding_.

Went the elevator.

The pretty, glossy doors opened as Alysa, with a backpack on her back, a shield in her hand, and a rather shiny belt around her waist, stepped through, but instead of just strolling to the other side of the room and eventually finding her way to Poseidon's palace, she was swarmed by a whole bunch of annoying people she could only bear to classify as "annoying people".

"ALYSA STEREAU!" screamed the red-faced, vulture-like Miss Rim, who looked as if her sanity were about to snap. (Alysa watched her intently with a certain strange fascination, as if kind of hoping it would.)

"ALYSA!" Miss Rim repeated, her fists clenching and unclenching as she raged. "I CANNOT _BELIEVE_ YOUR HORRIBLE BEHAVIOUR! I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR ONE SECOND, AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW, THE SECURITY GUARD IS TELLING ME THAT HIS KEYS WERE STOLEN, ASKING ME IF I'D SEEN THEM! OF COURSE I KNEW IT WAS _YOU_! WHO ELSE COULD IT BE BUT THE LITTLE ANNOYING INSANE GREEN-EYED BRAT WHO'S ALWAYS CAUSING SO MUCH _TROUBLE_?"

"That's biased," said Alysa. "I thought teacher weren't supposed to be biased. In fact, you even gave us a whole boring lesson on biasness and unbiasness in math and language back when you didn't look like a hawk, and your face was vaguely pretty!"

Speechless, Miss Rim spluttered for a few seconds incoherently: "I – you – er – spa – ah – ger – meh," before finally concluding on two words that would sum up her situation: "SH-SHUT UP!"

"Do you like to eat phlegm? I don't like to eat phlegm," said Alysa robotically.

"Give me back my keys," said the security guard right beside her through gritted teeth – yes the security guard, another one of those "annoying people"!

"How do you know I took them?" said Alysa innocently.

The guard mutely pointed at Aegis, which was giving off frightening waves of terrible energy.

"Oh, that's right," agreed Alysa placidly. "I've remembered something I'm supposed to do now … DIE, LOSER!"

She lifted the shield and fearlessly surged forward at the guard, who stumbled back in his shock as everyone in the lobby turned around and gaped at them.

This would take a lot of Mist.

"DIE, DIE, DIE!" screamed the girl, bringing out the Master Bolt and swinging it wildly, lightning shooting off from it and blasting randomly into every single thing it could find, crashing into the lights, knocking over desks, and electrocuting a few annoying statues that were randomly lying about.

One woman screamed, and that was all it took for total chaos to ensue – upon hearing the shriek, more people started screaming and running around wildly like chickens with their heads cut off.

"St-stop!" yelled the security guard, panicked. "You don't know what kind of power you're holding in your hands there!"

Alysa stopped for a moment to pause and sigh happily. "Yes, I know. That's the beauty of it."

"You're crazy!"

"You're so sweet!" cried Alysa joyously. (She loved it when people acknowledged her mental issues.)

"I didn't mean that as a compliment!"

"NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION!" screamed Alysa, changing moods rapidly as she brought the Bolt down on her forehead, knocking him out without using a single blast of lightning.

The Master Bolt was made up of really hard material.

She turned to march across the room and start looking for the entrance to the dock that led to Poseidon's palace, but stopped when something caught her eye.

It was her class. None of them were running and screaming like headless chickens; instead, all of them (with the exception of Miss Rim, who had fallen onto the floor unconscious with shock) had stopped whatever they were doing and were staring at Alysa as if they'd never seen her before.

It was … refreshing. It had been a long, long time since someone had looked at her like that, since they'd gotten used to her behaviour, though they'd been wary of her.

The boys were actually staring more than the girls. Before, Alysa couldn't exactly be considered ugly; she'd been fairly pretty, but the plain brown hair that refused to do anything but stay straight no matter what you attacked it with, the huge eyes that resembled that of a Manga character's more than a normal person's, the manic smile, and the skinny body that determinedly lacked curves prevented her from being considered beautiful. Yet somehow now she was, – at least, thanks to Aphrodite's girdle – if only in a way that, with her shield infused with a snake-haired lady's head and a long rod that seemed to shoot lightning every other way, made her look very, very scary.

And unstable.

And a bit psychotic.

Yay.

Then Alysa saw Roger. She remembered her promise to ensure that his children would have no father; she didn't like backing out on a promise, but what with her current state, it only seemed _right_ that she dealt with him _now_ instead of later.

So, grinning wildly, she jabbed the Master Bolt in his direction.

_ZZZZZZ_.

"WAH, that hurt," squeaked a distinctively fried Roger, right before his eyes rolled back to his head and he collapsed onto the carpet. One of his classmates immediately started curiously poking him with a stick. Another started muttering under his breath, "Combust, combust, combust …!"

Amazing, the friendships bred in that class.

"VICTORY FOR ME!" With a whoop of joy, Alysa skipped across the room happily, as her screaming victims parted before her, cowering before the power of the Aegis.

A considerable amount of minutes later, the gods arrived at the scene.

Hermes whistled at the wreckage; well, at least it was now mostly empty, except for a few unconscious people lying on the floor. "I wonder who could've done this. Impressive, actually."

"You're supposed to be thinking up of a solution, not worshipping the problem!" snapped Demeter irritably.

"I don't have a solution," said Hermes, his winged sandals taking him to the air as he rose up to the ceiling to get a better look, "but I would've _loved_ to be part of the problem."

**Last chance to tell me what you think Alysa is.**

**PLEEEASE review, oooor Demeter will cry.**

"**WAAAAH! Cereal, my poor baby!"**

**Review.**


End file.
